She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
