a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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