ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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