I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
