How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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