he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
