This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
