my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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