so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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