I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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