So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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