Whod you bang
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize