Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
