I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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