So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
