did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
