There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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