Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
