escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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