Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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