I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
