I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them