Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
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You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize