Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
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I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already