i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
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took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.