i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
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How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again