I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
