That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
