toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
