I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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