He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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