Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
