Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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