I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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