No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
