oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize