I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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