so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
