she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize