"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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