is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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