do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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