Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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