Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
