I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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