32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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