This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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