A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you would pick up someone in the library
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think your dad took our porno
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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