He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
how does that bad decision feel?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
