non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
