I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
