I can text with my tongue
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I cut my penus on the lid.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
