question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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