Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize