it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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