What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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