guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
