He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
