I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
