I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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