Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize