You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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