is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
